Lost love's letters
by AlwaysBeMine
Summary: Kate gets a letter. Will she read it or won't she? Will Kate decide to go to her heart?
1. The Letter Arrival

Kate and her boys just closed a diffcult case. Ryan and Esposito left the predict but Kate was still here, finishing paperwork.

A letter arrives for Kate but she wan't in the mood to open it. She looks at her watch, it was 6.15pm.

She decides to go and see her friend, Lanie.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Girlfriend," says Lanie with a smile on her face. They are quite for awhile. 'What's up?'<p>

"Nothing. Is it a crime for s friend to see her friend?" Kate says with a poker look on her face. "Something is up, Kate. You miss your Silver lighting novelist, don't u?" asks Lanie with a gine on her face. Kate's phone buzzed.

Kate looks up from her phone to look at Lanie. "No, I don't miss Castle! shouts Kate. Lanie puts her hand on her hip and gives kate a look.

Kate's phone buzzes again. There are deep silence. "Girl, aren't u going to answer that?" asked Lanie.

"No." said Kate with a hint of sadness. 'It's Ryan.' Lanie smiled and gets her coat.

* * *

><p>Kate's phone buzzes for the third time.<p>

They get into Kate's car. Driving to Lanie's apartment was very uncomfortable for both of them. Lanie opens the car door. She stops then says 'bye' to Kate. Kate smiles to Lanie. "Bye,Lanie," said Kate.

* * *

><p>She is driving towards her apartment building. She sees photographers waiting at her apartment building so she stops the car, takes a big breath and pauses for a few seconds.<p>

She suddenly remembers there is a side entrance to the building. She parks her car a block away from her apartment building.

She looks arounds and finds Rick's scarf on the back seat. She reaches for the scarf and her coat from the back.

Kate's puts his scarf on and sudden smells his scent. It brought back memories, good memories. The Smells of him settled quite nicely in her heart.

A dog startled her, her heart was racing so fast and she swore she saw someone in the distance.

_It might be a photographer_

Putting on her warm coat while trying to find her keys. As she found them, she pushes the remok on them. It went click, click.

She walks downs the block, the block is in darkness when she reaches the side entrance to the building.

She looks over her shoulder right and left. Kate opens the door. There was a noice so she stops, scans the area up and down five times.

No one was there but herself. Kates shakes her head then goes inside.


	2. The Sweet Memory

Rick wakes up to the same nightmare ever since Kate kicked him out of her apartment and the 12th, predict, six weeks ago.

Shaken up as he is, he'd just lay there in bed for hours. He hasn't even written or eaten anything lately.

His phone rings, hoping it'd be Kate but it wasn't. It was Alexis. "Hello, Dad," says Alexis. "Alexis, what's wrong?" asked Rick.

The was awkward silence. "Nothing is wrong. You okay, Dad," asked Alexis. 'Yeah I'm fine. I'm just tried,' replies Rick. He knew that he was lying but hoping she didn't picked it up.

"Ok. Dad? " says Alexis curiously. "Yup?" replied Rick. 'I'm coming home for a weekend, this weekend.'

_'Oh crap, rick thought._

It's really bad, he didn't want Alexis to see him like this.

'Alexis, there is a incoming call on another line. Sorry, Kiddo.'

She sighs softly hoping her father didn't hear that. "It's alright, Dad. I understand work awaits," says Alexis with a hint of laugher. 'Bye, Dad.'

"Bye, Alexis," replies Rick.

The push the end button.

* * *

><p>As soon as he looks at the caller ID, he realises its Gina. He cant stand the thought of answering.<p>

He lets it ring as he heads back to his empty bed. He puts his phone on the nightstand. He begins to think of the memories that he and Kate shared together.

One of his favourite memories of them was when it was a bright sunny day on Valentine's day. Laying in bed, looking at Kate as she slept by his side. His hand strokes back her hair which was covering her beautiful face.

She moves closer, puts her head and arm on his chest. He kisses her forehead. Whispers, "I love you, Kate." Her eyes were still closesd. "I love you, Rick." replied Kate.

His heart begins to beat faster, Knowing it was the first time he heard 'I love you too, Rick' from Kate, his girlfriend.

He looks down at her remembers it's Valentine's Day. "Stay in bed. I will bring you breakfast in bed," says Rick with a gin on his face.

"Rick, you don't have to. I want you to stay with me." answers kate, smiling. 'I know I don't have to but I want to do something special on Valentine's Day, Kate.' replies Rick.

"That is so sweet, Rick," says Kate with a smile on her face. He smiles back, kisses her on the mouth. She puts her hand on his face, kisses him back. He didn't want to leave after that amazing kiss, she didn't either.

Before he had the chance to leave the room. She puts her hand on his wrist, Rick stops. "Please don't go, Rick. Stay with me. It'd be the greatest Valentine gift," says kate.

"I will stay just for you, Kate," he answers.

Kate pulls him back on the bed, begins to kiss him on neck moving towards his month. They pulls away, staring at each other for a while.

"Thanks, Rick," said kate, smiling. "Always, Kate," replies Rick, smiling back. He knew she wanted to be held tight just by looking in her eyes in that moment.

They held each other all day and night.

_'It was the most amazing Valentine 's Day', he thought._

Suddenly, they fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

><p>Kate's alarm goes off, she pushes it off the nightstand. <strong><em>Crush!<em>**

_'Oh Crap.' she thinks, 'Whtat time is it?'_

Opens one eye, she sees sunlight sleeking into her bedroom. Moves her head to see what is the time now? To her surpise, it was 8.30am. No one had called her about another victum laying somewhere in New york City.

She gets out her of her bed and heads to the bedroom.

She gets dressed, she walks towards where she keeps her mother's ring and father's watch. She puts her father's watch on then puts her mother's ring around her neck.

* * *

><p>At the predict, walking towards her deck. She finds the letter still here. Looks at it addly, she sits down. Puts her cup of coffee on the desk.<p>

She reaches for the letter, holds it tightly in both hands. She begins to open it but sees her boys coming towards her. She opens her draw and throws the letter inside. "Hey, Beckett," the boys said. "Hey, guys."

"Have you heard everyone are going to train the rookies but you aren't going," asked Ryan. "Oh, no I didn't actually," replies Kate. The captain really likes you. You are lucky you won't have to deal with childlish rookies who trys to be like me and Ryan," says Esposito with a grin.

Ryan And Esposito wanannebes! says Ryan. Esposito and Ryan laugh. The captain calls them to go to a station room full of rookies. They say _'bye_' to her and head to the station room.

Soon as they had gone, she takes her cup and the letter to the breakroom. She closes the door behind her. She pulls the blinds down so that no one would see her opening it.


	3. The 2nd Letter

She refills her cup of coffee, not from the Espresso Machine. It tasted really horrible but she didnt mind it.

She sits down at the table, she picks up the letter and opens it neatly. As soon as she read _**'**__Dear Kate'. _

She was hoping it was from who she thought it was from.

_Dear Kate,_

_I wrote this a million times. When I left, I knew you never would forgive me for doing the one thing that I promised myself to do. _**To break your heart.**

_I hope you will forgive me and you will learn to trust me again. I know_ _I messed up so bad that I always get reminded everyday and night. When I look around and see you aren't here with me._

_Kate, I got one request for you to do. Please go and find the next letter in the breakroom._

_xxx_

She went back to the breakroom. She started to think. '_Is this Rick writting this or someone else?_

Looking and looking for theletter. _'There was no letter, it was a wild goose chase,' _she thought,_ 'Wait I have bot looked around the Espresso Machine.'_

Starts blushing as soon as she finds the next letter. She was curious what had been written in it.

_'It took a while to find the letter,_' she thought with a smile on her face.

Her eyes widened as she reads the next letter.

_Dear Kate,_

_You found it! Good detective work, that's what I love about you._

_I was saving these words for a special occassion but I want you to know how I feel each time we spent time together. I wrote this for you, Kate._

**_For The Love Of My Life_**

_You will always be mine  
>In my heart of pine<br>Through the years tht shine  
>When we are together<br>There is no pain  
>In my light<br>Of warmth, I give to you eachday  
>And night<br>With/ without you, my darling_

_P.S. I love you so much_

xxxxx

She realized that she was crying. The letter was wet.

"It must be from Rick but wait he isnt the type of guy who writes letters," Says Kate loudly.

She faces a decision go with her gut that tells her, its someone else or go with her heart that tells her its Rick.

**_What will She decide to go with, her gut or with her heart?_**

* * *

><p>This is my First Rick and Kate story. Please be gentle on me. Hope you all enjoyed this Story.<p>

Thanks,

**_Always Be Mine._**


	4. The Favorite Shirt

It was morning; Kate was woken up by a bang against her bedroom window. It was 6:00am on her alarm clock. As tired as she was, she got out of the bed.

Once in the kitchen, she opened the cupboard to get her cup, as she does she notices Rick's missing shirt.

Kate begins to realize that she isn't breathing.

_Breathe, Kate! She thought, repeatedly_.

Staring at it was very painful for Kate but she couldn't stop staring at it.

It was their all time favorite shirt when they were together as just partners before they actually got together in the real world.

It was still her favorite shirt and it brought good memories, she would sometimes wear it just to tease him in her or his apartment.

Kate remembers it like it was just yesterday but it wasn't. It had been six ½ long months since they had last seen each other.

* * *

><p>Rick woke up in bed and looked out of the window. Outside was still dark but he could hear birds singing.<p>

He listened to the birds' singing for half an hour.

He decided he had enough of avoiding not writing his newest book called '_**Heat Run**_.'

He makes his second coffee of the morning then walked to his office. He opened his laptop staring at the screen, as a picture of Kate comes into the background.

He sighed loudly.

Rick began to type the words that he most feared.

_'Heat found out Rook kept a secret about who was behind the murders of people that they were involved in.'_

He stopped typing then and looks up. He thought he heard something in his apartment. Listens for a good while but no noise.

* * *

><p>Kate looked at her watch. It was 8:30am; she turns a way from it.<p>

'_How long have I been staring at his shirt?' Kate thought, as she blushed_.

She closes her eyes. As she opens them, she was looking at the shirt.

Kate takes the shirt and holds it against her chest. It still had his scent all over it.

She had forgotten how good he smelt.

It was so good the scent of him that she felt warm and safe again. She hadn't felt that way since she last saw him.

'It feels like he never even left the apartment,' Kate thought, sadly.

She put down the shirt on the kitchen counter, makes another cup of coffee.

She still can smell his scent on her own hands as she starts to slip slowly. Without realizing the coffee was too hot, she spits it straight back into the cup.

Her mouth is stinging like crazy but it wouldn't stop her to do anything.

* * *

><p><strong>I am still new at writing stories. I am writing two more chapters of this story. Hope you like this chapter. This story is to all the people who have disabilities.<strong>

**Thanks,**

**Always Be Mine**


	5. The Text of following her heart

'Its 5.30 now,' says Rick, proudly as his types chapter 6.

He checks for mistakes as he reads slowly through the chapter.

'Nikki found out her boyfriend, Rook has a secret that made her kick him out of her apartment. Rook didn't even make an effort to stop her. He knew he messed up this thing that they had.'

"It was the greatest too," Rook thought as he got into the cab.

Rick's phone buzzes. Not bothering to pick his phone up. It buzzes again and again.

The phone buzzing annoys him so eventually he picks it up. He speed-reads though the texts but one text catches his eye.

It was from the one person that he never thought would get a text from.

'Hi, Castle  
>We need to talk.<br>Coming over in 15 mins.'  
>K.<p>

Stunned as he was, he smiled from ear to ear.

He was very hesitant about texting her back to say:

'No, don't come over here. R.'

Somehow he couldn't move his fingers to send that text. He turns his head to his laptop and lifts his hand onto the mouse. He moves the mouse and minimizes the chapter to stare at Kate's picture.

* * *

><p>Kate walked down the block to where she parked the car, holding the letters and his shirt under her arm. Getting into the car was easy but starting the car was harder.<p>

Had she forgotten how to start the car or was she being distracted by her decision to follow her heart after reading the letters and finding his shirt in the cupboard?

The car soon starts, Kate looked at her side mirror for a while then drives to Rick's apartment building.

* * *

><p>At Rick's apartment building, she looked at the shirt on the passenger's seat then glances at car clock.<p>

She opens the door of car and walks swiftly inside the apartment building.

* * *

><p>He just had finish another chapter of '<strong>Heat Run.' <strong>He looks at the time on his laptop and he realises that he only had boxers.

'Oh crap. She will be here in just 5 minutes and I am in my boxers,' Said Rick as he begins to search for a t-shirt.

He freezes as he hears her knock. Begins to think about situations that could take place in his loft.

One of them scared him to death. That is that she will look angrier than before and beat him.

He just laughed at that thought. He knew it was ridiculous to think like that.

He took a breath as he walked to the door; he hesitated a bit before opening it.

She was so uncomfortable to see him in only boxers and that took him by surprise.

He waved his hand to say she could come in. He had a beard and his hair is messy like he just woke up.

'_Castle! What happened?' Kate thought. 'I did this to you didn't I?'_

He saw a glimmer in her eyes; he swore that she was about to cry. He didn't know what to do. He did the only thing he could, speak but first let her settled on the couch.

'What do you want us to talk about?'

'Those letters, Castle.'

He swore his heart jumped out his body as he heard that. He put a confused look on his face with a hint of a smile.

'Letters? What about them?'

She blinked her eyes to stop the tears from running down her face.

'You wrote them didn't you? Please don't say you didn't because I know you did, Castle!'

'I-I. No I didn't.'

She gives Rick a look and moves her legs up on the couch.

'Castle. I. There's your shirt.'

He reached for his shirt but instead he goes for her hand. She moves her head to look at him. She saw the same sparkle in his eyes on Valentine's morning in the bedroom.

She moves her hand and goes to another couch. Rick looked at the clock. It was 21:50.

'You have a admirer.'

'Castle.'

She shakes her head at him. In his shock he put his shirt on.

It looked so hilarious on him that there was a hint of smile on her face.

'Yeah. I have an admirer.'

'That's really creepy.'

He smiled.

'Yeah. Tell me about it.'

They look at each other then laughed. She finally felt she was relaxing. He moves to where she was sitting.

'I have never gotten letters like those before, Castle.'

He puts one arm on the couch and leans closer to Kate.

'Oh.'

She backs away from him.

'When I read the letters, I felt more broken hearted than before. I-I.'

He put his hand on her face. She looks at him.

'K-Kate. I am sorry about this. I never wanted for you to get more broken hearted.'

There was a deep silence but it was prefect just staring at each other.

'C-Castle. I.'

He looks away for a minute.

'I know, Kate.'

He looks back and realised that she had fallen asleep. He craps his blanket from his office and puts it over her body.


	6. The True Fear

Kate woke up to Rick's warm body. He had fallen asleep while writing his tenth chapter of '**Heat Run.' **She opens her eyes and looks around the room and finds him lying on her.

Holding his arms around her body, which he used to do with her months ago. She actually didn't know why he did that every time when they were in bed together. She didn't want to know why. She was so scared to find out what was wrong with him. She still is scared.

She stares at him stirring and twisting around in his sleep. She never realized that her fingers were playing with his watch until he moved his hand on her face. She begins to realize why she came here.

Kate's phone rings. The ringing of the phone startled Rick. She laughed when he rolled off her. He looked up as he raises his head to be level with hers.

He gives her a stare.

'Hey, that isn't funny.'

She couldn't answer at that moment because she still laughing at him.

'I think I hurt my head, Kate.'

'That's why you shouldn't sleep on me on the couch.'

She smiles.

'Very funny.'

He shakes his head as he tries to reach for her phone. She slaps his hand away from her phone.

* * *

><p>'Beckett.'<p>

She still smiling at him as he goes and checks on his head.

'Hello Detective Beckett, I'm Dr. White.'

A confused looked crossed Kate's face.

'Doctor White, how can I help you?'

Dr. White stays alert, as he wasn't sure if Rick told her about him going to see him.

'Well, I'm concern about Mr. Castle. He isn't coming around to see me.'

She begins to be concerned about who is this Dr. White and what Rick was going to him for?'

'Coming to you?'

'Oh man, I thought he told you as he told me about you all the time, Dr. White thought, embarrassedly.

'O-oh. I thought Mr. Castle told you that he was seeing me. I guess he didn't then.'

She actually getting more worried now.

'N-No, he didn't. What is he seeing you for?'

He is startled he heard that from Kate.

'Detective, he's seeing me for counseling.'

'Counseling?'

'Yes counseling. He has been coming to me for years now but not these past 4 months.'

Kate's hand shakes as she sees Rick walking back from the bathroom. Rick begins to wonder whom is she talking to. She looks away from him to walk into his office. She closes his office door and that makes him very worried now.

'Oh. I-I. I see. Can you tell me why he started to see you?'

There was an awkward silence.

'I wish I could but there is client confidently.'

'I understand, Dr. White.'

Dr. White knew that there was a cry in her voice but he knew he would never betray his friend, Rick Castle. He just wanted her to know what was up though.

'But I can give you a hint. Nightmares.'

Kate's eyes widened as she hears him saying that.

'Nightmares? Thank you, Dr White.

Dr White nods evenly if she can see him.

"Yes, Detective. Nightmares.'

His assistant opens his door. He pulls away from the phone, pauses then brings it to his ear again.

'I'm sorry, Detective. My assistant just came in to tell me that I'm late for my own meeting.'

They laughed.

'That's understandable, Dr. White. I have to go too. Nice chatting to you. Bye.'

Dr White smiles.

'Yes it was. Bye, Detective Beckett.'

* * *

><p>Rick is nowhere to be seen in any room. He might have gone to get some groceries for breakfast. Kate decides to sit in her favorite place by the window to get herself together after that awkward talk with Dr White about Rick Castle.<p>

As she looks out of the window she sees lights of cars moving in the New York traffic. Started to wonder if it's too early for any shop to open and why Rick didn't tell her that he's going out too.

She looked down; saw his laptop on the floor then picked it up to her lap. She sees the time. It is 6.45am then she lifts her head from the laptop to the window again. Words start to list themselves in her head without realizing it.

'_Rick! Dr. White? Counseling? Years? Months? Nightmares?'_

She takes a long deep breath then puts down his laptop.

* * *

><p>As she turned around he swore that she had been crying while he was gone judging by the redness around her eyes. His heart stops as he wants to ask what is wrong but he doesn't. She gets up and walks towards him.<p>

'C-Castle. Rick.'

He starts nervously.

'Yup.'

She gives a small smile.

'I got a call as you know.'

She stops as if she doesn't want to say whom.

'O-oh. Was it bad, Kate? I saw your hand shaking badly.'

She gives a look. She didn't want to show it but somehow it slipped out.

'Well, I don't know now.'

He stares at her for a while.

'Do you want to talk about it, Kate?'

She lifts her hand towards his face.

'R-Rick. I got a call fr-from Dr. White.'

He puts on a confused look.

'Dr. White! What did he want?'

'So you do know him then, Castle.'

He nods.

'Yup. I know him. He is…'

'He is your counselor. Why didn't you tell me about it especially your nightmares, Rick?

He moves back from her as he walks the kitchen.

'The same reason why I didn't tell you who is behind ordering me around to keep my girlfriend from getting too close to the case, Beckett.'

'Did he just? She thought, yes he just did call me Beckett.'

'That's only an excuse, Rick. What is your true fear?

'My true fear is I'm not wanted anymore.'

Her eyes start to water as she put both hands on his face this time.

'Oh Rick. You are wanted. You are wanted by me so much.'

His heart beats fast as he kisses her lips. They wouldn't stop kissing each other until she moved away to take a few breaths.

'Oh Kate. You are wanted by me so much too.'

'Kiss me again, Rick.'

'No not before I say a few little words that I haven't gotten to say a long time, Kate.

'Oh I am sure that you said everything in the love letters, Rick.'

'Yup, I have said everything but not those words that I want to say to you. I haven't been able say those words to my love in the longest time.'

'Is it that I have to handcuff you?

She smiles.

'No but that sounds really good though.'

They laugh.

'I love you, Kate. I always have and always will.'

He kisses her check.

I love you too, Rick. I always regret kicking you out. I'm sorry.'

She turns away but he lifts her head with his hand to look at him again.

'Kate.'

He kisses her lips again.

'I always regret not telling you everything. I'm sorry too, Kate.'

They stare at each other deeply. They begin to wrap their arms around each other without realizing it. He losing his balance so he takes her down with him as well on the couch.

Laughing like hyenas giggling non-stop. They look at a blanket on the floor. He tries to reach for it but they fall onto the floor instead. They laugh again.

'Rick. Maybe we should just lay here with a blanket over us.'

She smiles.

'With handcuffs, Kate?'

He smiles back.

'I don't know how you will handle it.'

She loves to tease him.

'You are a tease, Kate Beckett.'

'Shhh, Castle. Just cuddle me will you, you teddy bear.'

'Teddy Bear? Sexy.'

They laugh. They seem to be nodding off as they lay there comfortably on the floor with the blanket over them. They are more in love than this morning.


End file.
